Disaster on Day One: A Reflection on Rough-Yet-Hilarious Starts to new Jobs

I’m thrilled to embark on a new career path as a fulltime writer. So far, it’s been a dream and more than I could ask for. But anyone who knows me understands that my life is typically a walking SNL skit and my introduction to new companies hasn’t always been smooth sailing. Like many millennials, I started out my career with a string of short contracts and temp work. Because of this, I’ve had dozens of first day jitters over the past decade and memories I’d rather forget.

I’ve alluded to this in previous posts, but I once showed up to a new job and my direct manager just plum forgot. With a crisp suit and matching vest, I waited for over an hour as reception tried to get a hold of anyone on the team. They eventually sent me home and I spent a sleepless night fearing I misunderstood and they hadn’t actually offered me the job. My boss did greet me the next day, with surprising nonchalance over the error (I did end up loving my tenure at the organization but if that gentleman is reading this, I forgive but I do not forget).

Luckily, I’ve managed to time my start date with a big company party on a few occasions. It’s a great way to meet other employees in a more casual atmosphere. On one unforgettable evening, I was beginning to relax over a couple of beers with a new department. I switched to water but they most certainly did not. I watched the group become sloppy and my boss in particular stumble towards the floor like a magnet to a fridge. I ended up getting a few folks home and suffice to say, never went to another corporate event again.

In the early 2000s, I started my first ever office job. I was both excited and utterly terrified. My supervisor was a brisk professional who was constantly rushing from one activity to the next. She hurriedly introduced me as Samantha but before I could correct her, the team had moved on. Then someone very senior later called me Samantha and I was too shy to correct them. Eventually a full week went on and I was completely dumbfounded on how to correct this intimidating figure and seriously considered just changing my name. Another employee ended up correcting her but for the next few months people winked when they said my name, which was not really much better.

You know those glass boardrooms that look like human fish tanks? I was strolling past one of those clear walls during a temp gig when I tripped and fully faceplanted while the stack of paper I was clutching rained down like confetti in full view of a large board meeting. That was 10+ years ago and people from that company still talk about it when they see me in the PATH. I’m still not amused.

Feel free to comment and share any embarrassing first-day stories with me!