Corporate Meetings: The Drinking Game
Take a sip when someone prints a paper agenda for a 30 minute meeting
Hearty mouthful when the meeting organizer is late and you’re forced to talk about the weather and/or wait in awkward silence
Small taste when someone says “I don’t think we’ve met…” to someone they’ve met on multiple occasions
Guzzle when someone has trouble connecting their laptop to a projector; bonus sips if it opens to their personal email or job search websites
Two sips when someone illegibly writes “action items” on a white board
Chug when no one photographs the notes before erasing it
Gulp every time someone on the phone is called upon and tries to talk on mute before multiple people simultaneously point out they’re on mute
Take a small taste for every person in the room with no fathomable reason to attend the meeting
Generous mouthful when someone suggests they take a topic “offline”
Swig when someone suggests a task and no one volunteers to take it on
Pass the flask when a junior employee is volun-told to do it
Sip for every person who brought in a notebook but has yet to touch it
Wet your whistle when someone’s personal phone loudly rings and they claim they “have to take this.” Additional sips if they start talking before they leave the room.
Smugly swirl your glass when someone you secretly hate is called upon and they weren’t paying attention
Tip your cup when someone uses buzzwords like “engagement” and “streamline” and you’re pretty sure they’re unclear of the meeting’s subject
Peek inside your cup to check liquid levels when someone opens the boardroom door to remind you they have the room next. Drink if someone points out your group “still has one minute”
Knockback a big gulp when someone is asked to send meeting notes at the end of the hour and you can tell by their panicked expression they weren’t paying attention
Tap the bottom of your glass when someone asks if there are any last questions or comments. Hurl your cup at anyone who responds.
Pour a flute of champagne when someone suggests future meetings can be replaced by a simple email – just kidding! That will never happen. Better stockpile more bottles for the next one!
